colors

my money sack has curved my month leaving me with questions and motives far far heavier than i ever thought id be at this point in my life. im learning to let feeling higher absorb others near me.  im learning there is more good.  and most of all, that with hope and sincere action, the system will always work. my dear friend leo, rip,  always sang a handsome tune.  “crys.  for crystals, gems, and rocks . . a sweet parade of colors echos her walk.”  i am so blessed to have had, and continue to attract  such inspiring brilliant minds with a combined consciousness and heart.  scorpio and today have been difficult and comfortable. luckily, the centre, student support, and kcrw are near. to save me.

this is a time of togetherness and creation for bird. words, african beats, jungle sounds, jazz history, strong lungs, gentle fingertips on cue, brass tempo, pressure,  shine, shift shaping, hearts cheating, soul- so much soul. my december. my hearts been focused on elevating my appreciation for the desire to share.  i want an infinite palate of blues and purples and golds around. thanks friends & lmk for dancing to my rhythm. blessed holidays.

ps. dont forget to check out REVO and THE BEST KEPT SECRET ,coming to a city near you!

lightweight

after a very stretched out, starved, focused, but much needed RH YK & sukkot, i can rest with some assurance that my movie for the year will be nominated cake.
its no coincidence that a dirty plate of mine has surfaced these days, thanking me for showing it love. he is now engaged and wishes to be friends. wow.. shana tova! and give me a break..
i high on my high holiday, whip it with extra sugar, and toss it with chunks of yum.

i have modified my line.
deep plum, deep house, and deep left is the movement i am in. oy to lorac, second sundays, and sir barack!
never again do i want to deal with the snaps of having farmers market, debate, and game five of the post- pahlusss mad men delay, in one freakin night. high five tivo. i owe you a bigger tv.

mm

my first sundayla times in the new home!
 craving a 5 mile, npr weekend edition & some extra syrup

medicine

ive been struggling for weeks with my tikkun. ive been fighting to get myself to sleep at a decent hour, take a different approach to work. change.

quite recently i met a mistake i should be thankful for.  im not so ready yet.

i questioned my faith. my familiar. all that is most comfortable. doubting myself and my strengths. in my vision of what is the end of this gray matter, i look forward to the holiday. i ask my light, my heart, and hashem for help.

a very dear friend, a new friend told me to be a ghost. bury myself in my work, do all the things i love. remain distracted in design. remain true, the doubt will swim away.

i drove for a while north, to clear some heaviness and create.  togetherness was everywhere, people in twos, couples, happy, busy, having sundays without me. my stomach felt like it had been punched in for hours. my heart is broken, and my mouth so dry. tears seem to roll with no apparent warning and for every reason.  ive never felt this hungry or indifferent. sometimes i wish there was a pill for love to go away.

treasures.

its been a few minutes.. sorry
in the means, ive welcomed a nephew. treasures, the 1%

broke ass

broke my very first heel tonight.
back to 5′2”.
ouchiee.

i feel more like a woman now.

word of the day:

  “upness”

sleep hasnt been easy. it seems my body is absolutely trained. so i dream. mad, colorful, i am in rem. little two- three hours dates with my thoughts.  ive taken on too many projects, its starting to show.   i wish mike & mike was on earlier, i wish the farmers market was closer.  all i seem to crave is peaches & eric satie.  lots and lots of eric satie.

classical-satie 

red

i have been pretty private lately. 
i think ive troubled into getting myself too deep into something that wasnt real.  its hard to move past being wrong when everyone keeps telling you youre doing everything right. im starting to not believe in things anymore, and i hate myself for that.

i took red (my fuji fix) to t.o. over the weekend. cleaned her up, and thom the shop dude hooked us up with some wicked white chains ill be sporting soon.  that cheered me up. we went on a bike ride down westlake to oak park and worked on some music at the pollo loco. me, red, my down tempo shuffle, and a strawberry fosters freeze. it was just enough nature for me. – though, nature in the burbs.. ill admit is fucking square. 

i miss the city.

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i feel like that diet coke ad with the girl on her skates dancing to the bubbles of summer sparkle. thats what a coke does, thats what kaskade sings. only, you become that  sparkle- floating up to the sun, looking down on everyones love story.